"A toast to family . . . and friends."
Jasmine watched as her husband raised his glass to those seated around the table. She and Jerry and his friend Kimbra all reciprocated, raising their glasses as well. It had been a lovely evening, and she felt more than ever that her instincts were right about Kim. Jerry, she knew, was positively smitten. For a guy who was rarely turned down, she wondered if it wasn't a good thing that he was forced to be friends first this time around. And Jerry and Kim were friends. It was obvious to all. She'd settled into the dinner and family as if they had known one another for ages.
Smiling, happy with the state of things, Jasmine prepared to bring her glass to her lips to complete the toast.
Jerry had other ideas.
"And to Old Tarts and Old Bastards the world over," he added, catching them all off guard. They burst into laughter. Jerry looked completely pleased with himself.
"Jerry that was awful," Kim proclaimed, unable to stop her own laughter.
"Don't say anything, it only encourages him," Jasmine told her.
"Oh, I think he just can't help himself some times. Trying to tame him is hopeless," Kim replied, her tone full of amusement. But Jasmine thought she heard something else. Regret perhaps? She watched the other woman carefully as she continued, turning her gaze toward Jerry as she did, "So I accept him as he is because he's really starting to grow on me!"
Jasmine's eyes narrowed as she watched them. Had those lights always been in Jerry's eyes she wondered.
"So I'm fungus?" Jerry asked, laughing.
"You said it, not me." Kim shot back.
Jerry opened his mouth and then closed it. But Jasmine could just imagine what he would have said to that. The fact that she and Joshua were there was probably the only reason he held back. That and the fact that it would probably have embarrassed Kim.
The moment was interrupted however by the sound of a small familiar cry. Her maternal instincts immediately kicked in as her eyes were drawn toward the baby monitor settled on a chair in the corner of the room. She was half out of her seat, when her husband waved her back down.
"My turn," he said, feigning a long suffering sigh. "Time to go take care of my other girl." Jasmine knew how much he loved taking care of their daughter and didn't believe a word of his act. Between Joshua and Jerry and Joan the child was going to be spoiled rotten before she learned to crawl.
"I'm sure big brother Joey won't be far behind," Jerry stood with him. "Why don’t I go with you to make sure he stays in bed. Don't drink all of the wine," he admonished toward Jasmine and Kim before following Joshua out of the room.
"They are both really great with children," Jasmine said, appreciating the opportunity to be alone with Kim. There were some bits of information that you just couldn't dig out in front of the men.
"Yeah, they are," Kim agreed. "Sometimes I wonder if Jerry isn't just a great big kid himself. He's so good with the team. He had an amazing ability to get right on their level and they love it."
Jasmine laughed. "I can imagine. But I think it's more than just an ability with kids. Jerry has the ability to get on anyone's level. It's uncanny how sometimes he seems to know just how a person is feeling and simply reacts to it."
"That's probably why he attracts so many women," Kim joked, taking a sip of her wine.
"He told us about your first date," Jasmine confessed.
"Really?" Kim seemed surprised by that. "Everything?"
"He doesn't hide his feelings very well. He was really disappointed that you didn’t want more out of the relationship." Jasmine tried to speak delicately, not wanting to cause their guest to feel uncomfortable.
"I noticed that," Kim admitted. "And I felt really badly about turning him down. He's such a great guy. I just didn't want to be another girl in a string, you know?"
Jasmine smiled, reassuring. "I understand. But there is something you should know. Jerry used to date a lot of girls. I think it means something that they're, most of them, still his friends. But about a year ago, he slowed down. After a while, he only went out on dates rarely. His date with you was the first one in a long time. You're right about one thing: he really is a great guy. So, if you are looking for a relationship, you can trust him with your heart. And if you're not, he'll stick around and be the best friend you ever had."
"Thank you, for telling me that." Kim seemed very affected by her words. Jasmine felt sure that she would have said more, but Jerry and Joshua returned turning the conversation back toward other matters. Namely desert.
Jerry cut the engine after pulling into a parking slot in front of Kim's apartment. He allowed several moments of silence before he spoke. "So? Are you going to tell me?" he asked, turning his questioning gaze toward her.
Kim looked over at him, feeling a subtle squeezing in the vicinity of her heart as she looked into the warmth and concern in his eyes. She had to look away. "Tell you what?"
"What's wrong." Jerry reached a gentle hand to guide her back toward his gaze. "What happened that caused you to be so quiet, and maybe just a little sad."
Kim swallowed, and struggled to hold his gaze. She thought she'd done a convincing job of remaining happy and upbeat at dinner. It had been more difficult in the personal confines of a vehicle. Still, she'd hoped Jerry would have put it down to tiredness. But faced with a direct question, she had to answer him some kind of way.
"You are a really, really good friend Jerry. I appreciate you more than you know." The statement was true and the crux of her problem.
Jerry smiled a little, and prompted, "But?" His expression became slightly guarded as if he was preparing himself for something. His hand dropped, but he didn't look away.
"No but," she said. "I just don't want to lose that." The answer was a bit of a cop out. She didn't want to lose him as a friend, because she was beginning to discover that she wanted more. And 'more' with Jerry was a frightening proposition. Her heart wouldn't stand a chance.
"Why would you lose me as a friend?" Jerry asked, obviously confused. "Sure the season is about to end, but that doesn't mean we can't still hang out. We can even pick some other team to coach if you want."
Jasmine was touched by his attempt to reassure her, and it only added to the reasons that she thought so highly of him. But despite what Jasmine said, she couldn't assume that Jerry would want to be more than friends with her any longer. She needed to take a step back so that she could examine these feelings that were assaulting her. For all she know, it was probably the romance of the evening that was getting to her.
After all, they were both dressed up. He'd picked her up at her place, and held her hand at the shopping center. They'd had a great dinner together. For a while there it had felt like they were more. Jasmine's words had only driven home the truth of the matter. And she'd made her decision on that date weeks ago. Why was she having regrets now? She needed to just shake it off.
"You're a great bud, you know that?" She said, forcing a bright smile before she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Now, I'd better get inside before the neighbors start talking."
"Okay," Jerry smiled slightly. "Shall I walk you to your door, Madame?"
"You really don't have to. It's just a couple yards."
"I want to. It'll round off the evening." He was already climbing out of the vehicle.
Kim quickly climbed down so that he wouldn't have to open her door. He waited for her and then followed her up the walk. Kim felt his presence keenly as he moved behind her. She felt almost over powered, and she couldn't stop the pounding that began in her heart.
Once at her door, she fumbled with her key, feeling inadequate even to get it into the lock. What was wrong with her? Why was her pal Jerry suddenly making her nervous? Instead of teasing her, he remained a silent presence behind her.
Finally succeeding, she quickly pushed the door open and stepped inside. She turned to face him from the opposite side, ready to bid him a goodnight. But Jerry had moved to follow her and was standing a bit closer than she'd expected.
"You forgot these," he said, a frown marring his brow as he looked into her surprised expression. His frown deepened, and he stepped around her and placed the glasses that she had purchased on a table near the door. Kim followed his movements, feeling a little silly to be standing there with the door wide open.
Jerry returned to the door and removed the knob from her hand before pushing it closed. His eyes never left hers throughout the motion. "Are you sure that the friend thing was all that there was?" he asked as he moved closer to her.
Kim willed herself to move, anything but to stand there and stare up at him. But her feet had gone on strike. Along with her brain. All she could think was how tall, and caring and wonderful he looked. And that if he took a single step closer, looking at her with that intense look his eyes, she was going to melt into a puddle at his feet.
"Kim?" Her name was a whisper on his lips, and then all she knew was that he was kissing her. It was different from their first in that it was slow and deep and terrifying. The pounding of her heart went into overload and she was sure that if she opened her eyes, the room would be spinning.
There was no way she could stop the flood of sensations that washed over her. Nor did she want to. She wanted to remain there in that sensory paradise. But the moment was too short. Because all too soon, Jerry broke the kiss. His first whispered words had the effect of bringing her reeling back from the brink.
"I’m so sorry. That won't happen again."