Chapter 28

Sam paused when Robyn faltered to a stop. Worry washed over him at the way she looked across at him. It was a look that immediately declared that there was a complication. She murmured something to the caller about needing to talk and calling later.

            He took a step backward, consciously retreating as a feeling of disappointment threatened to settle in. Their relationship was only minutes old, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to handle a glitch so soon. Her voice still reached him as she continued to speak to her caller in low tones before hanging up.   

            He remained silent and still while she slipped the phone into her purse, and moved toward him. "That was Steven," she said, meeting his gaze head on.  

            Her forthrightness caught him off guard. "Boyfriend?" he asked.

            "I . . . " She allowed the word to fade away as she looked at him uncertainly. Then, "Yes, he is. Sort of."

            Sam blinked, confusion and hurt warring within him. After the things he'd said to her in the truck about backing off if this wasn't real for her, how could she have led him on? He wouldn't have believed that of her. But then she'd just admitted it. It left him speechless. He almost missed the next thing she said.

            "Steven has always been a very good friend. I've known him forever. We thought we'd try to be more than friends, just because it was the next logical step, but it wasn't working out. What's left is a little unfinished business that needs to be handled in person. He's much too good a friend for me to do it over the phone."

            Sam understood unfinished business. That was the story of his life these days. But he wasn't sure what to make of what Robyn had just told him. "So you're not really free then," he stated.  He was having a hard time getting his mind to wrap around the fact that Robyn had someone waiting in the wings and hadn't told him.

            "Sam. . . . " Robyn protested.

            "I don't want to be the reason you're ending a relationship," Sam continued as some of the hurt began to turn to anger. He started for the school.

            Robyn grabbed a hold of his arm and stopped him. "I don't want to be anything but honest with you, Sam," she told him. "Otherwise I wouldn't have told you the exact nature of my relationship with Steven. The last thing I would want to do is to hurt you, or to betray you.

            "Since the day I met you, I knew that there was an uncommon chemistry between us. And even before I met you, I've known that things were over relationship-wise between Steven and I. And I know him well enough to know that he feels the same way."

            Sam let the words wash over him. "Why didn't you say anything earlier? Why didn't you tell me when we were talking just a few minutes ago?"

            "I realize now that I probably should have," Robyn admitted. "But, I honestly didn’t consider him an impediment. In my mind it was all over between us. You were the only man I was thinking of."

There was earnestness in her expression, but Sam still felt as if he had been stung. He didn't know what else to do, so he simply nodded and continued along the sidewalk toward the school's breezeway. There were, he realized, a lot a things that he didn't know about Robyn Sommers. He couldn't expect that she didn't have a life before they'd met. And he couldn't ignore the fact that he and Sandra had started as very good friends. "We should go on in and get Beth. She's probably beside herself," he said by way of explanation.

"She must have gotten her worrying nature from you," Robyn replied tentatively. She wrapped her arms about herself in the dimmer, cooler section of walkway. The temperature always dropped as the area was well shaded from the meager late autumn sun. The warmth in the air wasn't the only thing that had cooled, and he wondered if she wasn't sensing that as well.

"Probably," Sam responded to her statement. "Sandra didn't worry about much. She was the epitome of a carefree spirit." He started to peel off his blazer. "Want my jacket?"

"No. Thanks I'm fine." Robyn offered a small smile of appreciation, before continuing. "I didn't have a chance to tell you earlier. Cassandra stopped by today. She left a message that she would be staying with someone named Dee if you wanted to reach her."

            Sam's brows went up in surprise. He wondered how Sandra reacted to finding another woman at his home. It hardly seemed likely that she would deliver a simple message and then be on her way. "That's all she said?"

            "Basically," Robyn replied. "That was the gist of it, anyway."

            Sam wasn't able to probe further as they'd reached the door to Beth's classroom. When he caught sight of her standing near the door, books in hand, he was prepared to see her 'what took you so long' look. Instead, it quickly morphed to one of surprise and delight. She squealed his name and Robyn's and approached them both enthusiastically. One of each of their hands were taken as they murmured quick apologies and bade the teacher good-bye. He supposed that he would not have to worry about his daughter having a problem with Robyn's presence in his life. He wished he knew whether or not that was going to be the case.  

28b

Robyn felt like an imposter as Beth's small hand tightened within hers. She stole a glance sideways as the little girl spoke animatedly with her father about what had taken place in class that day. Sam's face scarcely revealed any of the strain that it had shown just minutes earlier. He looked completely focused on what his daughter had to say. It struck Robyn that his devotion toward the child was not only complete, but that the love he received back in equal measure grounded him. She resolved not to let the stress that existed between herself and Sam to affect the girl in any way.

When the three-some arrived back home, it was to find an additional vehicle in the driveway. Robyn was surprised. Her dad must have left the office after she'd talked to him on the phone. After what had happened over the past hour, she almost needed a few minutes to pull herself together before facing the seemingly all-seeing gaze of Geoff Sommers. Never mind that she still felt the remnants of the warmth that had flowed through her when Beth had given her a spur-of-the-moment hug before climbing into Sam's truck.

            But then she realized that her father's presence could work out quite well. It would give her a chance to go to see Steven and get at least that part of the situation straightened out right away. Where in the past it had only seemed like a conversation to be put off, it now felt like a dark cloud hanging over her head. And she hated it, because she knew that she should have dealt the situation long ago. But how was she to know that she would meet and become so attracted to Sam in such a short period of time? Or that one phone call could so muddy the situation?

After Beth preceded them into the house, she hung back and caught Steve's hand to keep him from entering. He stiffened just slightly at her touch, but turned to face her. 

            "I'm going to go to see Steven, now, if my dad can stay." She looked him in the eyes as she spoke, and tried not to wince at how closed his expression was. The hard-won trust was no longer visible in his gaze. 

            Sam paused and turned back toward her. "You should do what you have to do," he said quietly. "You really don't need my permission."

            "I work for you," she reminded him, painfully aware of the irony that before he had been the one to remind her that she worked for him and his personal business was not her concern. She hoped that they weren't solidly back to square one. "My father will stay until I get back."

            "You don't have to ---"

            "My father will stay." Robyn cut him off, already aware of where his statement was headed and she wasn't having it. "Something is going on here, and we may finally be making some progress. Don't give up on that just because you're not sure if you can trust me anymore. If it would make you feel better, we can have someone else assigned."

            Sam looked torn for several moments, then nodded. "Beth really likes you."

            Robyn smiled sadly. "And I really like Beth."

The words hung between them, lost between the gulf that now seemed to stand between them. It was almost a tangible force, a physical chilling of the atmosphere around them. Then suddenly, Robyn was tired of standing there in the void. She had promised to be honest with Sam, and that was what she was going to do. She wasn't going to just tiptoe around because things had gone sour.

"You know. I more than like Beth, I love her. I think she's a wonderful, caring, gifted, beautiful child. And despite that phone call, nothing has changed in the way that I feel about her, or in the way that I feel about you."

Something ignited in Sam's eyes as he looked back at her. She could feel it boring into her, burning everything it touched. More emotions than she could categorize rolled through those stormy blues, but the one that touched her most was only visible for a moment. It was a brief flash of vulnerability, replaced quickly by uncertainty.

"That's the problem," Sam said, softly. "Nothing has changed in the way I feel about you, either."

28c

Sam didn't wait for Robyn to respond, he simply turned away, intending to head into the house where he wasn't faced with her open earnest expression. Too many mistakes with Sandra had taught him a lesson that left a lasting impression. She had taught him that he couldn't go just on feelings. He had to be smarter than that if he meant to avoid the hurt of lies and betrayal. He didn't think he could handle having to deal with that again. 

"I'm not her, you know." Robyn's softly spoken words slammed into him like an arrow hitting a bulls-eye. Almost before he had time to think, he had turned and was striding back toward her. He didn't stop until he was standing in her personal space, locked in on those amazing caramel eyes of hers. Gone was the previously earnestness, now defiance was clearly visible. That he could handle.

"How are you going to prove that?" he asked. "Your track record isn't so good. You've got a boyfriend, lady."

"I don't have to prove it," she responded. "I don't have to prove anything. Against my better judgment, I have feelings for you. I care what happens to you and your daughter beyond the casual sense. And for your sake, you need to get past your ex-wife and what she's done to you. You need to learn to live your own life. Because as long as you let that past dictate your future, you won't have one. And she will have won."

"Haven't you ever heard of learning from your past?" Sam demanded, furious that she was suggested that he couldn't get past his relationship with Sandra. What did she know of loyalty and the lengths he'd gone to be a good husband and father? Who was she to judge?

"Yes I have," Robyn shot back. "But you learn and then you move on. You don't let it drown you, or deaden you to the point that you're afraid to feel anything for fear of being hurt." 

Sam opened his mouth to deny that he was afraid of anything and then closed it because that wasn't the truth. He was afraid of being hurt again and of taking that chance. He didn't honestly know how Robyn had managed to slip beyond his shields in the first place. Suddenly all of the fight went out of him, and he felt exposed and helpless. "I don't think I know how to move on," he admitted.

"Let me help you."

He looked at her. She was beautiful and she was smiling tentatively at him, offering something precious. Something shifted within him. He wanted what she was holding out to him. He wanted to feel like he was living again. He wanted so much to take the risk. He leaned down toward her. But before he could feel the softness of her lips beneath his, she reached up a hand and placed it over his mouth.

"No," she shook her head. "I've got to do something first. Something I should have done a long time ago."

Sam just looked at her and nodded, while silently his heart urged her to hurry.